The bats are back

Bat forever. The dark bird rises. Yes, we have a large, brown squatter in our home. Despite our best efforts — and the efforts of an excellent wildlife removal team — one incredibly persistent bat has decided our home is the best place for him.

Over the past 24 years, we’ve had only two bats disturb us. That is, until the last eight months. As some of you may recall, we had quite a few incidents with bats in 2018. This necessitated us employing the services of a removal service. They did an extensive job finding and plugging a lot of tiny spaces in our roof, attic, eaves, and chimneys. For many weeks, we were a bat-free zone.

Then one night we came home and found a little bat, sleeping on the hinge to our back door. On the inside. Again, I employed my usual tactics when a flying, furry creature is inside our home. I bolted for the bathroom and yelled helpful advice, such as “get it out.” Matt found this one a challenge, since Batty was hanging on a hinge and wouldn’t scoop him into a box easily. But he prevailed and took the bat outside to release him.

Then a few weeks later, another bat was swooping around our kitchen. This one was much bigger than the sleeping one, or so it appeared to me. It left the kitchen, or so we thought, and disappeared into the rest of the house — which is where we typically sleep. So we shut the door to the kitchen, deciding to call the removal men the next morning. We prepared to sleep in our chairs in the family room. After a couple of hours of restless sleep, we heard a sound in the kitchen. Sure enough, the bat had merely hidden and was once again terrorizing our kitchen.

I started to run into the bathroom off the family room, but as I opened the door, I realized I could go open the back door and help Matt get the thing outside.

Matt stood, bravely attempting to herd the bat toward the open door, but it flew into the bathroom instead. Matt shut the door, blocking it in, so that the next day our removal team could come do their work. At least we got to spend the rest of the night, such as it was, in our own bed!

They team came to confiscate the winged creature and assured us that now that it was warmer, it likely wouldn’t come back. Of course, I’m a bit concerned about next fall, but no time to worry about that now.

Especially since the very next night, the same bat (I swear!) returned to swoop and dive around our kitchen. This time, he did fly out the back door, as I boldly held it open and Matt swished the dish towel around him.

The bad news is, the bats like us and seem to have taken out advertising. The good news is, they are starting to scare me a little less. Email me at